{"id":321,"date":"2002-09-10T08:39:00","date_gmt":"2002-09-10T12:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/?p=321"},"modified":"2021-05-16T08:45:02","modified_gmt":"2021-05-16T12:45:02","slug":"an-unforeseen-complication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/2002\/09\/10\/an-unforeseen-complication\/","title":{"rendered":"An Unforeseen Complication"},"content":{"rendered":"\n    My dedication to this website has backfired on me. While striving to be as fat as I can be and then writing about it here on my homepage, I have now jeopardized my ability to type at all. Oh the irony! I have rendered myself so fat as to be unable to reach the top row of my keyboard. I can stretch my little arms all I want, I can lean against the computer table until a solid groove is cut into my wide girth, but I simply can not reach any of the number keys or the letters Q through P (and those bracket thingies). (I can’t reach the function keys either, but nobody uses those.)
    As a reference, here is a list of the letters I will be limited to in all future posts:
A S D F G H J K L
Z X C V B N M<\/font><\/center>    I am able to access most of the important punctuation marks, fortunately. Sadly, that e-mail “at” symbol is a lost cause. I can still send mail, I suppose, provided someone writes me first.
    I hope all this will not be an inconvenience.
    Update<\/b>: Reader T.K.<\/b> of Northville helpfully points out I can rest the keyboard right on my stomach itself. This does indeed work a lot better, but my man-boobs keep hitting the CTRL and Shift keys. I’ve accidentally rebooted my computer three times just trying to edit that last sentence.   [6:20 PM]<\/b>
    Update update<\/b>:
\"Me,<\/center>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    My dedication to this website has backfired on me. While striving to be as fat as I can be and then writing about it here on my homepage, I have now jeopardized my ability to type at all. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-me"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=321"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":324,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321\/revisions\/324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}