{"id":578,"date":"2002-09-25T23:00:41","date_gmt":"2002-09-26T03:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/?p=578"},"modified":"2021-05-17T23:06:10","modified_gmt":"2021-05-18T03:06:10","slug":"the-truth-unmasked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/2002\/09\/25\/the-truth-unmasked\/","title":{"rendered":"The Truth Unmasked"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/images\/mjackson.jpg?resize=179%2C250&#038;ssl=1\" height=\"250\" width=\"179\" align=\"left\" style=\"padding-right:15px;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/images\/sking.jpg?resize=164%2C250&#038;ssl=1\" height=\"250\" width=\"164\" align=\"right\" style=\"padding-left:15px;\"> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/images\/musicbug.gif?resize=65%2C20&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"65\" height=\"20\" valign=\"bottom\">&nbsp; &nbsp; All these years we thought Michael Jackson was scientifically transfiguring himself into the likeness of a very pale Diana Ross.  I recently uncovered the true method to his madness.  Jackson is in fact transmogrifying himself into a young Stephen King!<br>&nbsp; &nbsp; This proves conclusively that Jackson is more gorped in the head than we thought.  And that <i>Entertainment Weekly<\/i> does have its uses after all.<br>&nbsp; &nbsp; <b>Update<\/b>: following up on this breaking story, UPI reporters asked Jackson for his response.  He is said to have shifted a small child from his lap, giggled like a ninny, put a mask over his mouth, and thanked them profusely for giving him the &#8220;best selling, master of horror&#8221; award.<br>&nbsp; &nbsp; P.S. I apologize most sincerely to a certain subsection of my audience for posting an image of Michael Jackson on this site.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; All these years we thought Michael Jackson was scientifically transfiguring himself into the likeness of a very pale Diana Ross. I recently uncovered the true method to his madness. Jackson is in fact transmogrifying himself into a young &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/2002\/09\/25\/the-truth-unmasked\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,3,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-music","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=578"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":584,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578\/revisions\/584"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}