{"id":646,"date":"2002-10-16T01:38:00","date_gmt":"2002-10-16T05:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/?p=646"},"modified":"2021-05-18T01:42:27","modified_gmt":"2021-05-18T05:42:27","slug":"andy-rooney-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/2002\/10\/16\/andy-rooney-time\/","title":{"rendered":"Andy Rooney Time"},"content":{"rendered":"\n    You know, it’s funny the things you think of when you’re crouched in the corner of a darkened booth of the local adult bookstore. It’s almost —
    No. Sorry. That was supposed to be sent to a different webpage.
    What I meant to talk about was the snack machine here at work. As you might imagine, I make frequent visits to it during the day. I think of it as a giving and generous companion. But I still always find it strange the way it’s set up. It’s got six rows (if you don’t count the row of chewing gum on the bottom) with four items on each row. The rows are numbered 1-6; the items have been given even numbers (for no real reason) and are numbered 0-6. But, inexplicably, we’re asked to punch a three<\/i> digit number into the keypad to select our snack.
    Like I said, there are only six rows of selections, and I know there are less than a hundred items in the machine (I haven’t tried them all, but I know). So why are the Fritos on the top left numbered 110 and the ranch-flavored Ruffles right below them numbered 120? Is having me press an unnecessary 1 every time I want Cheetos (#114) supposed to be their way of helping me exercise my pointing finger?
    It’s just silly. And I guess it’s one more of life’s unanswered questions.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    You know, it’s funny the things you think of when you’re crouched in the corner of a darkened booth of the local adult bookstore. It’s almost —    No. Sorry. That was supposed to be sent to a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-me"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=646"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":648,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646\/revisions\/648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}