{"id":766,"date":"2002-12-30T12:45:00","date_gmt":"2002-12-30T17:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/?p=766"},"modified":"2021-05-18T12:51:38","modified_gmt":"2021-05-18T16:51:38","slug":"on-vacation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/2002\/12\/30\/on-vacation\/","title":{"rendered":"On Vacation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/a>     It’s not that I don’t want to update this page, it’s that I just have nothing much to say.
    Yes, we’re near the end of the Holiday Eating season, but still in the middle of its biggest week. Everything is going nicely — too nicely in fact, since I’m surrounded by rich leftovers and sweet desserts. (Those cloning idiots have nothing on me! I duplicated myself the natural way: by doubling my body mass!)
    I’ve piled on so many pounds I can barely leave my chair. I feel like the prize turkey in Dickens’s Christmas Carol<\/i>: “He never could have stood upon his legs, that bird. He would have snapped ’em short off in a minute, like sticks of sealing wax.” In fact, it appears others have noticed this weakness in my cracking, arthritic knees and are trying to take an advantage of it. I spotted this image in the message board of some rival website, where it appears some kind of attack is imminent! I’d send over inspectors, but actually I can just browse the site from here<\/a>.   [1:59 PM]<\/b>
    Update<\/b>: I guess the opening salvos have already begun. I’ve received nine e-mail viruses already today. True, they could be from idiots trying out their new and unprotected Christmas computers, but I’m betting it was all her<\/i>. My Norton AntiVirus nipped those viruses in the bud, so obviously she’s underestimating me. Nice try, Redhead; better luck next time.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    It’s not that I don’t want to update this page, it’s that I just have nothing much to say.    Yes, we’re near the end of the Holiday Eating season, but still in the middle of its biggest … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,2,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-food","category-me"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/766","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=766"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/766\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":771,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/766\/revisions\/771"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wastinaway.net\/shortfatguy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}