- In response to our Congress’s childish decision to call French fries “”Freedom Fries”, the French have countered by referring to American cheese as “fromage des dumbasses”.*
- Whenever footage is shown of Arabs demonstrating in the streets, they are invariably saying “Shouting shouting, we are shouting in a crowd. Shouting shouting, we are hopping as we shout.”
- NBC is upset that all the best names have been taken for war coverage. CNN is using “Showdown: Iraq”, CBS is using “Countdown: Iraq”. ABC has “Stare Down: Iraq”. So NBC is stuck choosing between “Touchdown: Iraq”, “Falling Down: Iraq”, “Eiderdown: Iraq”, “System of a Down: Iraq”, or “Watership Down: Iraq”.
- President Bush is one vote away from being able to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. “Dick Cheney has been working madly to secure the 50th [vote],” reads an internal memo. If permissions are not won, the administration plans to declare war there next year.
* I doubt this is true since I can’t imagine the French bothering with American cheese in the first place.
