Sing, Dang You, Sing!

    It’s birthday time again. Happy Birthday to me!
    …I said, Happy Birthday to me.
    I can’t heearr yooouu…
    As per tradition, let’s take a look at what the online horoscopes forecast for me this year.

From Eugenia Last in today’s Free Press “Make the most of the wonderful ideas you have. Your impulsiveness could cause you to jump from one thing to another, so stick to what will bring the best returns. Anger will only set you back.” [And lead to the dark side.] “Do what you can by yourself, and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.”

From Sally Brompton at TV Guide.com “Take time out on your birthday to listen to that small, still voice within that always seems to know what it is you really need. You will get advice from all directions this year, some of it good and some of it bad, but if you follow your heart you will never go wrong, you will never get lost and you will never regret the”     [“the” what? The what? The Rockette tryouts? My Tommy Lasorda fan fiction site? Tell me!!!]

From the aptly named Holiday Mathis at Chicago Sun-TImes “IF NOV. 9 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: You’re in tune with the song of your soul this year, which helps you make a positive impression on the world. If that’s too ethereal, just know that you’re putting out good vibes, and good comes back to you. Stash away money for spring travel. You’ll connect with romance on the journey. You’re remarkably compatible with Cancer and Virgo. Your lucky numbers are 5, 50, 14, 48 and 46.     “THE VOID MOON presents a holding pattern through which every decision can cycle the old noggin 20 times before a single action is taken. There’s such a thing as overthinking. We are made more aware of what we’re really focused on, though, which for many of us is different from what we want to be paying attention to!” [Overthinking? What does she mean by that? …And by the way, take it from me, a void moon is not a pretty sight. But it is a curable condition.]

From Linda Black at AZCentral.com “You’re lucky, confident and very imaginative this year. With all that going for you, might as well also become rich.” [ Yep, might as well. I can confidently imagine being rich.]

From NZ Herald “Given a choice, you may prefer to maintain the status quo. However, circumstances are pushing you in a certain direction and in 2006 you will have to make changes in at least one area of life. Rest assured results will work in your favour and there will be no regrets.” [Yeah, right, no regrets.]

From iAfrica.com “You can get through a fairly testing personal twelvemonth quite satisfactorily providing you apply powerful self-discipline and abundant common sense. Do not waver in the face of difficulty. Resolve to turn your aims into actualities.” [“…And canceling our debt would be nice too.”]

From Style.com “You\’re slated to have several chances to alter personal, family, or household situations so that they more closely reflect your ideal this year. As you proceed, try to keep a weather eye on your bank account to make sure that you find the balance between splashing out and being so constrained (or tight) that it prevents you from moving on to the next level, whatever it may be. Happy Birthday!!!” [I also find out I share a birthday with Nick Lachey. First Sargent Shriver and Spiro Agnew, and now Nick Lachey? Will the bounty ever cease?]

From Find Horoscopes.com “You’ve got something up your sleeve and it’s going to be quite interesting — scathingly brilliant, you might even say. It has to do with your sweetheart, or the person you dearly want to occupy that position.” [Nicole Kidman, behold my elbows. Some guy said you’d be impressed.]