Proper Care and Handling

    For the second time, NetFlix sent me a DVD last night that was unplayable. I was 57 minutes into the movie when it suddenly stopped, yanked me out of the story, and refused to continue. The back of the disc was covered in scratches — which made me wonder what the hell NetFlix customers do with their discs. Do they deliberately beat up on a disc just because it’s not theirs? I suppose that must be true, since the damage did not look like normal wear and tear. (Heck, apart from some thumbprints — and the inevitable laser rot — there shouldn’t be any wear and tear!)
    Please, previous NetFlix disc viewer, just because you only have the disc for a couple days does not entitle you to “leave your mark on it” for posterity. Other people are relying on you, so here are some tips you might want to keep in mind:
    • When removing a disc from the NetFlix sleeve, do not use your teeth.
    • After placing the disc on the DVD tray, you do not need to grind it in with your hand. Your player will revolve the disc on its own.
    • Do not stick a ruler into your player to make sure the disc is still spinning.
    • Please keep the NetFlix sleeve handy for when you are done watching the movie. Do not tape the DVD to the bottom of your shoe and then walk up and down a dirt road before replacing the movie in its sleeve.
    • Although it resembles it in shape, your disc is not a lazy susan.
    • Do not use staples on your NetFlix disc.
    • Do not personalize your rental by trying to etch your name (or your pet’s name) into the disc.
    • Do not attempt to sand down a piece of wood with your disc.
    • Use the proper envelope to return your rental. Do not drag the DVD behind your car.