Wit and Wisdom of W

    Why wait till later? Let’s begin compiling the George W Bush Presidential Library right now. Here, President Bush articulates his suspicions regarding Iraq’s announcement of “unconditional” inspections.

Downstream it (play it live)       Download it (play it later)

The leader of the free world finds himself unable to complete a thought when lost within a too complex catchphrase. He’s probably rethinking that whole folksy witticism policy. (Footage courtesy of The Daily Show on Comedy Central).

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Randomness

  • My doctor is concerned I’m too heavy for my height. So I’ve decided to measure myself by width.
  • I’m really enjoying Comedy Central’s idea to replay Late Night with Conan O’Brien at 7:00 PM EST. (This is a great boon since our Detroit NBC affiliate airs Conan some time around two in the morning because they’re deseparately determined to serve the public by airing the damnable Jenny Jones or Springer shows.)
  • I wish “Shannon” at offers@mail.yourinterestsonly.com would frigging quit e-mailing me.
  • I heard the new Van Wilder DVD contains “never before seen footage”. That could probably apply to the movie itself, couldn’t it?
  • It seems like every day I’m seeing another update on the next Superman movie. Nicholas Cage will be Superman, Josh Hartnett will be Superman, Jude Law will be Superman, Keanu Reeves will be Superman (all horrible choices by the way). It has a director, it doesn’t have a director. I know there are two separate movies in the works, but with the all back-and-forth will-they/won’t-they, you’d think they were making a dozen movies.
  • Someone please explain why I still read Entertainment Weekly.
  • Posted in Personal | 2 Comments

    Cleaning Out the Attic

        I tried to correct a few things over the weekend on my guestbook but did more bad than good. I was editing an older version of it, so when I uploaded the changes I ended up erasing the last four months of messages! (Not only did I screw up the editing but I also failed to make a backup copy before I enacted the change.) So, today, I spent a few hours trolling through my laptop, hoping to find a recent copy of the guestbook in my cache. Instead, I found a bunch of old updates from my old homepage. Since I’m such an incurable packrat I added these updates to the weblog. That’s why there are those seemingly random entries between June 2000 and October 2001. (I also added a couple old entries to my Buffett weblog.)
        I never did find a new enough copy of my guestbook. But I came close to solving the problem when I got the idea to search for my guestbook on Google and use their cached copy. I thought that was pretty darned clever, although I’m still missing one or two messages.
    Posted in Blog, Buffett | 3 Comments

    Now this is just plain weird

        From the Associated Press, by way of CNN
        “ALBANY, New York (AP) — On the first anniversary of the terrorist attacks, a date known as 9-11, the evening numbers drawn in the New York Lottery were 9-1-1.
        “‘The numbers were picked in the standard random fashion using all the same protocols,’ said lottery spokeswoman Carolyn Hapeman. ‘It’s just the way the numbers came up.’
        “Lottery officials won’t know until Thursday morning how many people played those numbers or the total payout, she said.
        “For the evening numbers game, the New York Lottery selects from balls numbered zero to nine circulating in a machine at the lottery office. Three levers are pressed, and three balls are randomly brought up into tubes and then displayed.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/09/12/ar911.sept11.lottery.ap/index.html

        You can see the results for yourself, on New York’s lottery page.

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    Kim Hunter (1922-2002)

        We salute the career of Kim Hunter, who passed away today at the age of 79. Most famous for her roles in the films A Streetcar Named Desire and Planet of the Apes, she also starred in one of our favorites A Matter of Life and Death (aka Stairway to Heaven).

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    September 11 2002

        I’m not sure what I should write. Honestly, I don’t feel I can write anything suitable about this anniversary, but I hate to let the day go by unacknowledged here. Today looks like any other late summer day, but there’s a palpable somber feeling in the air. Walking the hallways of my building, strangers could not pass by without sharing a greeting or saying hello, as if reinforcing their mutual humanity. To me, in my selfish mind, that’s what September 11 really has been: a reminder of our own fragile mortality.
        To my way of thinking, the victims aren’t heroes because they died in a political act (and a stupid act at that). They are heroes because they died heroically. They faced death; they accepted it, while at the same time helping others to avoid it. And, morbid as it might sound, that’s what I find most moving.
        …Oh well. As I suspected, this has gotten too maudlin. So here are some pictures to help cheer me up.
        Who can resist a cute Panda?

    Look, birdie’s skateboarding!
    And, come on, you gotta love a bunny in a bag…

        P.S. Here’s how September 11 will be remembered internationally.
        P.P.S. Snopes.com’s page of 9/11 folklore.
        P.P.P.S. Happy Anniversary Dave & Sue.
    Posted in Blog, Personal | 1 Comment

    An Unforeseen Complication

        My dedication to this website has backfired on me. While striving to be as fat as I can be and then writing about it here on my homepage, I have now jeopardized my ability to type at all. Oh the irony! I have rendered myself so fat as to be unable to reach the top row of my keyboard. I can stretch my little arms all I want, I can lean against the computer table until a solid groove is cut into my wide girth, but I simply can not reach any of the number keys or the letters Q through P (and those bracket thingies). (I can’t reach the function keys either, but nobody uses those.)
        As a reference, here is a list of the letters I will be limited to in all future posts:
    A S D F G H J K L
    Z X C V B N M
        I am able to access most of the important punctuation marks, fortunately. Sadly, that e-mail “at” symbol is a lost cause. I can still send mail, I suppose, provided someone writes me first.
        I hope all this will not be an inconvenience.
        Update: Reader T.K. of Northville helpfully points out I can rest the keyboard right on my stomach itself. This does indeed work a lot better, but my man-boobs keep hitting the CTRL and Shift keys. I’ve accidentally rebooted my computer three times just trying to edit that last sentence.   [6:20 PM]
        Update update:
    Me, typing
    Posted in Personal | 4 Comments

    Fantasy Football

        Thing are looking good for my team in the SFG league on Yahoo!. Veteran first string powerhouse Danny DeVito will be featured in the season premiere of Ed on NBC, which will really bring my average up. This was a lucky break since DeVito hadn’t really been doing much for me previously. It might make up for my potentially misguided trade of Louie Anderson for Michael J Fox. Anderson was a steady performer because of his game show, but he has since left Family Feud and I needed Fox to strengthen the shortness dynamic of my bench. Fox underperformed in his Atlantis voicework, but he’d scored well with Stuart Little 2, so I’ve got high hopes he can really do well when it hits video stores this Fall.
        P.S.: $25 to any celebrity, or to the charity of their choice, for singing the Strongbadia anthem before any professional sporting event. Come on! It will be fun! Do it for the kids!
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    The Man is Keeping Me Down

        Yesterday my cable modem was out; now, I can’t access the Internet here at work. But, luckily, I have my laptop and an AOL account to fall back on. Nothing will keep me from updating my homepage! Too bad I don’t have anything new to write.
        P.S. Computers hate me.
    Posted in Blog, Gadgets, Personal | Leave a comment

    Please Pardon Our Dust

        Construction ahead. Left lane closed, please merge.
        I just discovered I was one hundred forty megabytes over my limit with my Troubled Loner account! Remarkably, I did not receive any kind of warning about this. I luckily did not have to delete anything, but I spent a good part of the night moving stuff around to other accounts.
        It’s possible you might encounter a broken link. Please let me know if this happens, so I can correct the problem.   [3:21 AM]
        Update: I also found some links in my online diary were broken too. Hopefully all these have been fixed.
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