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25 Mind-Numbingly Stupid Quotes About Hurricane Katrina And Its Aftermath

1) “I don’t think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees.”
–President Bush, on “Good Morning America,” Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina (Source)

2) “What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them.”
–Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the Hurricane flood evacuees in the Houston Astrodome, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)

3) “We’ve got a lot of rebuilding to do… The good news is — and it’s hard for some to see it now — that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott’s house — he’s lost his entire house — there’s going to be a fantastic house. And I’m looking forward to sitting on the porch.” (Laughter)
—President Bush, touring hurricane damage, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)

4) “Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well.”
–FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

5) “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.”
–President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring Hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)

6) “Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?”
–House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston (Source)

7) “Well, I think if you look at what actually happened, I remember on Tuesday morning picking up newspapers and I saw headlines, ‘New Orleans Dodged the Bullet.’ Because if you recall, the storm moved to the east and then continued on and appeared to pass with considerable damage but nothing worse.”
–Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, blaming media coverage for his failings, “Meet the Press,” Sept. 4, 2005 (Source)

8) “What didn’t go right?”
–President Bush, as quoted by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), after she urged him to fire FEMA Director Michael Brown “because of all that went wrong, of all that didn’t go right” in the Hurricane Katrina relief effort (Source)

9) “I mean, you have people who don’t heed those warnings and then put people at risk as a result of not heeding those warnings. There may be a need to look at tougher penalties on those who decide to ride it out and understand that there are consequences to not leaving.”
–Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)

10) “You simply get chills every time you see these poor individuals…many of these people, almost all of them that we see are so poor and they are so black, and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold.”
–CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, on New Orleans’ hurricane evacuees, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

11) “If one person criticizes [the local authorities’ relief efforts] or says one more thing, including the president of the United States, he will hear from me. One more word about it after this show airs, and I…I might likely have to punch him, literally.”
–Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA), “This Week with George Stephanopoulous,” Sept. 4, 2005 ((Source)

12) “We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn’t do it, but God did.”
–Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal (Source)

13) “There are a lot of lessons we want to learn out of this process in terms of what works. I think we are in fact on our way to getting on top of the whole Katrina exercise.”
–Vice President Dick Cheney, Sept. 10, 2005 (Source)

14) “It makes no sense to spend billions of dollars to rebuild a city that’s seven feet under sea level… It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed.”
–House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), Aug. 31, 2005 (Source)

15) “I believe the town where I used to come – from Houston, Texas, to enjoy myself, occasionally too much – will be that very same town, that it will be a better place to come to.”
–President Bush, on the tarmac at the New Orleans airport, Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)

16) “I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center who don’t have food and water.”
–Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, on NPR’s “All Things Considered,” Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

17) “Last night, we showed you the full force of a superpower government going to the rescue.”
–MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

18) “We just learned of the convention center – we being the federal government – today.”
–FEMA Director Michael Brown, to ABC’s Ted Koppel, Sept. 1, 2005, to which Koppel responded ” Don’t you guys watch television? Don’t you guys listen to the radio? Our reporters have been reporting on it for more than just today.” (Source)

19) “Louisiana is a city that is largely under water.”
–Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, news conference, Sept. 3, 2005 (Source)

20) “I also want to encourage anybody who was affected by Hurricane Corina to make sure their children are in school.”
–First Lady Laura Bush, twice referring to a “Hurricane Corina” while speaking to children and parents in South Haven, Mississippi, Sept. 8, 2005 (Source)

21) “It’s totally wiped out. …It’s devastating, it’s got to be doubly devastating on the ground.”
–President Bush, turning to his aides while surveying Hurricane Katrina flood damage from Air Force One, Aug. 31, 2005 (Source)

22) “FEMA is not going to hesitate at all in this storm. We are not going to sit back and make this a bureaucratic process. We are going to move fast, we are going to move quick, and we are going to do whatever it takes to help disaster victims.”
-FEMA Director Michael Brown, Aug. 28, 2005 (Source)

23) “I understand there are 10,000 people dead. It’s terrible. It’s tragic. But in a democracy of 300 million people, over years and years and years, these things happen.”
–GOP strategist Jack Burkman, on MSNBC’s “Connected,” Sept. 7, 2005 (Source)

24) “A young [black] man walks through chest deep floodwater after looting a grocery store in New Orleans…”
    “Two [white] residents wade through chest-deep water after finding bread and soda from a local grocery store after Hurricane Katrina came through the area in New Orleans…”
–captions at Yahoo News, Aug. 30, 2005 (Source)

25) “Thank President Clinton and former President Bush for their strong statements of support and comfort today. I thank all the leaders that are coming to Louisiana, and Mississippi and Alabama to our help and rescue. We are grateful for the military assets that are being brought to bear. I want to thank Senator Frist and Senator Reid for their extraordinary efforts. Anderson, tonight, I don’t know if you’ve heard – maybe you all have announced it — but Congress is going to an unprecedented session to pass a $10 billion supplemental bill tonight to keep FEMA and the Red Cross up and operating.” –Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA), to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Aug. 31, 2005, to which Cooper responded:
    “I haven’t heard that, because, for the last four days, I’ve been seeing dead bodies in the streets here in Mississippi. And to listen to politicians thanking each other and complimenting each other, you know, I got to tell you, there are a lot of people here who are very upset, and very angry, and very frustrated. And when they hear politicians slap – you know, thanking one another, it just, you know, it kind of cuts them the wrong way right now, because literally there was a body on the streets of this town yesterday being eaten by rats because this woman had been laying in the street for 48 hours. And there’s not enough facilities to take her up. Do you get the anger that is out here?” (Source)

Read more idiotic quotes that didn’t make the top 25…

Quotes That Didn’t Make the Top 25

“Mayor Nagin and most mayors in this country have a hard time getting their people to work on a sunny day, let alone getting them out of the city in front of a hurricane.”
–Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA), on why New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin failed to follow the city’s evacuation plan and press the buses into service, “Fox News Sunday,” Sept. 11, 2005 (Source)

“This is the largest disaster in the history of the United States, over an area twice the size of Europe. People have to understand this is a big, big problem.”
–Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)

“You know I talked to Haley Barbour, the governor of Mississippi yesterday because some people were saying, ‘Well, if you hadn’t sent your National Guard to Iraq, we here in Mississippi would be better off.’ He told me ‘I’ve been out in the field every single day, hour, for four days and no one, not one single mention of the word Iraq.’ Now where does that come from? Where does that story come from if the governor is not picking up one word about it? I don’t know. I can use my imagination.”
–Former President George Bush, who can give his imagination a rest, interview with CNN’s Larry King, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)

“But I really didn’t hear that at all today. People came up to me all day long and said ‘God bless your son,’ people of different races and it was very, very moving and touching, and they felt like when he flew over that it made all the difference in their lives, so I just don’t hear that.”
–Former First Lady Barbara Bush to CNN’s Larry King, after King asked her how she felt when people said that her son “doesn’t care” about race, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)

“Judge Roberts can, maybe, you know, be thankful that a tragedy has brought him some good.”
–Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson, arguing that Supreme Court nominee John Roberts stands to benefit from Hurricane Katrina because “inflamed rhetoric in the United States Senate is just not going to play well now,” Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

“Bureaucracy is not going to stand in the way of getting the job done for the people.”
–President Bush, Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)

“I’ve had no reports of unrest, if the connotation of the word ‘unrest’ means that people are beginning to riot or, you know, they’re banging on walls and screaming and hollering or burning tires or whatever. I’ve had no reports of that.”
–FEMA director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

“I don’t make judgments about why people chose not to leave but, you know, there was a mandatory evacuation of New Orleans.”
–FEMA Director Michael Brown, arguing that the victims bear some responsibility, CNN interview, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

“Our Nation is prepared, as never before, to deal quickly and capably with the consequences of disasters and other domestic incidents.”
–FEMA Director Michael Brown, March 9, 2005 (Source)

“Outstanding Political Science Professor, Central State University”
–description on FEMA director Michael Brown’s résumé, which turned out to be false – he was only a student there (Source)

“I’m going to go home and walk my dog and hug my wife, and maybe get a good Mexican meal and a stiff margarita and a full night’s sleep.”
–FEMA Director Michael Brown, on his plans after being relieved from his role managing Hurricane Katrina relief efforts, Sept. 9, 2005 (Source)

“And in all fairness to the Department of Homeland Security right now, I mean this is a brand new Department that was formed after 9/11. In many ways this is a ‘learn by our mistakes and figure out what to do better’ type of scenario.”
–CNN anchor Kyra Phillips, Sept. 9, 2005 (Source)

“I don’t want to alarm everybody that, you know, New Orleans is filling up like a bowl. That’s just not happening.”
–Bill Lokey, FEMA’s New Orleans coordinator, in a press briefing from Baton Rouge, Aug. 30, 2005 (Source)

“Louisiana’s Senator Landrieu announced on network television, ‘I might likely have to punch him, literally.’ And my question, since ‘him’ is the President, and both punching and threatening to punch the President is a felony, has her qualifying words ‘might likely’ saved her from arrest and prosecution?”
–unknown reporter to White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)

“As of Saturday (Sept. 3), Blanco still had not declared a state of emergency, the senior Bush official said.” –Washington Post staff writers Manuel Roig-Franzia and Spencer Hsu, who didn’t bother to fact-check the blatant lie peddled by the Bush administration as part of its attempts to pin blame on state and local officials, when, in fact, the emergency declaration had been made on Friday, Aug. 26 (Source)

“Just to get you on the record, where does the buck stop in this administration?” –White House reporter
“The President.” –White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)

Physician Who Told Cheney to Go Fuck Himself Lost His Home in Katrina, Detained, Cuffed by Cheney’s M-16-carrying Goons
by Jackson Thoreau

Dr. Ben Marble, a young emergency room physician who plays in alternative rock bands and does art on the side, needs our help. Since he was the one who told Dick Cheney to “go fuck yourself” on Sept. 8, that’s the least we can do.

Marble is a complex guy, to say the least. Some of the lyrics he writes can be considered harsh by some — personally what I’ve heard is very much on target — but he has a softer side as an organizer of breast cancer fund-raisers, not to mention an ER doctor.

When he, like thousands of others, lost his home due to Hurricane Katrina last week, it was the single most traumatic week of his life. That led to his Sept. 8 confrontation with the man who best represents the worst of the most callous, heartless, shittiest administration in U.S. history.

As Marble explains, he was driving to his destroyed house Sept. 8 in Gulfport, MS., when military police refused to allow him to cross a barricade that was about 200 feet from his home. They forced him to drive an extra 20 minutes and spend even more on gasoline.

“Thanks to Dubya Gump and Mr. Cheney, gas is really expensive and extremely hard to get anywhere Katrina has destroyed,” Marble wrote. “So needless to say, I was extremely aggravated that they wouldn’t let me pass.”

Suddenly a long line of dark cars pulled up, and they honked at Marble to back up to let them through the barricade that supposedly no one could drive through. That only made Marble madder so he did what most of us would do — or at least consider doing.

“I waved a middle finger at the caravan,” Marble wrote.

After driving the extra 20 minutes and filming video of destruction along the way, he made it to his home. Marble overheard a neighbor say that Cheney was down the street talking to people. That\’s when he got the idea to go meet Dr. Evil himself.

“I am no fan of Mr. Cheney because of several reasons,” Marble wrote. “For those who don’t know, Mr. Cheney is infamous for telling Senator [Pat] Leahy ‘go fuck yourself’ on the Senate floor. Also, I am not happy about the fact that thousands have died due to the slow action of FEMA, not to even mention the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time, i.e. Iraq.”

So Marble asked a couple police officers if he and a friend could walk down to Cheney. They told him Cheney was “looking forward” to talking to “the locals.”

“So we grabbed my Canon digital rebel and my Sony videocamera and started walking down the street,” Marble wrote. “And then right in front of the destroyed tennis court I used to play on Dick Cheney was giving a pep rally, talking to the press. The Secret Service guys patted us down and waved the wands over us, and then let us pass.”

As he stood about 10 feet away from Cheney and his friend and some camera operators from CNN and other media filmed the scene, Marble suddenly yelled, “Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney! Go fuck yourself, you asshole!””

Hey, at least Marble was polite. After all, he referred to Cheney as “Mr. Cheney.”

“I had no intention of harming anyone but merely wanted to echo Mr. Cheney’s infamous words back at him,” Marble wrote. “At that moment, I noticed the Secret Service guys with a panic-stricken look on their faces, like they were about to tackle me, so I calmly walked away back to my former house.”

His friend videotaped a little bit longer and then came back to Marble’s house. As they were salvaging a few things from Marble’s home, two military police waving M-16’s showed up and said they were looking for someone who fit Marble’s description who had cursed at Cheney.

“I told them I was probably the person they were looking for, and so they put me in handcuffs and ‘detained’ me for about 20 minutes or so,” Marble wrote. “My right thumb went numb because the cuffs were on so tight, but they were fairly courteous and eventually released me after getting all my contact info. They said I had NOT broken any laws so I was free to go.”

So let’s get this straight: A physician with a newborn baby loses most everything he owns in the hurricane, does what most of us WANT to do and “echoes” Cheney’s words he spoke on the Senate floor last year, walks away harmlessly, mission accomplished, and then once the media cameras leave, he is treated like a foreign terrorist as Cheney’s goons waving M-16s handcuff him in front of his destroyed home? Had it not been for the media cameras filming the initial scene, I doubt Cheney’s goons would have just let Marble go after 20 minutes.

America, land of the free?

Marble and his family have been in the media spotlight before, including his wife, Lisa, and baby, Sofia Grace, who was born shortly after the storm, on CNN. Marble has also been interviewed in art magazines and the Biloxi Sun Herald about his concert fund-raisers and musical success — one of his bands, dR. O, has had at least 20 No. 1 songs on the MP3.com charts.

“The truth is even with all our losses, we are still luckier than many people down here because at least we didn’t die,” Marble wrote. “But I thought I could try to raise some awareness to the bad policies of the Dubya Gump administration and also possibly raise some money to replace the many things we lost, and so I decided I would auction the videotape my friend shot of the event. I will also grant an interview to the winner if so desired.”

So go to eBay here [Note: auction has since been pulled] and place a bid for this important video to help Marble raise some needed funds. I have done so and was at least at one time the high bidder.

Marble also has an Internet site with photographs of some damage in his town at www.HurricaneKatrinaSucked.com. A photo of him is here, and you can also email Marble at clone9@yahoo.com

Dr. Ben Marble, you rock. May we all return the favor.

A note to our conservative friends:

WE TOLD YOU SO

Ever wonder why New Yorkers detest George Bush?

Because we experienced his incompetence up close and person.  We knew this guy was full of shit, absolutely full of fucking shit, after they started to play games with the funding and gave Wyoming terrorism money.  We knew he was an assclown then.

We thought DC 9/11 was a comedy, because the Bush we saw hid in AF One like the scared bitch that he is.

But did you listen?

Fuck no.  Ann Coulter was calling New Yorkers cowards just two weeks ago for not endorsing Bush’s folly in Iraq.

We have been screaming for two years that Bush and his team sucked.  That they had no clue.  They sent soldiers to be wounded in Iraq without armored anything.  And you idiots cheered him on from the safety of your keyboards.  We told you he was fucking up Iraq.  But no: we supported Saddam, we were racist, we blamed America.

You say this isn’t about politics?  Fuck you.  This IS politics.  Real time, real life politics; where the insanity of all your ideas are exposed to the world for the fraud that they are.  Tax cuts kill.  Ask the relatives of the dead of the Gulf Coast.

Well, motherfuckers, the alligators are feasting on dead nigger and there isn’t an Iraqi in sight.  And Bush is trying to gladhand his way through a mess which has stunned FOX reporters.  I mean, Shepard Smith is calling Fox’s talking heads liars ON THE AIR.

CNN rips Bush in print and online after nearly five years of sleep.

Instead of hearing what we had to say about Bush, you called John Kerry a coward, mocked Max Cleland, blamed everything on Bill Clinton.  You enabled Bush into this mess — and now you’re shocked?

Now, Fox can be outraged.  Now, Wash Times and Union Leader call Bush weak?  Well, his coward ass disappeared in 2001.  But you would rather blame Michael Moore for that.

He can’t even explain the Iraq war to a grieving mother.

And what did you do?  Wrote the most vile things about her and her dead son.  Attacked her patriotism and her honesty.

Well, motherfuckers, and that means you, fat ass Goldberg and your master, Rich Lowry, PNAC Bitch Beinart, the racist wannabe white Malkin and the little fucktards at LGF, Bareback Andy and “Diversity” Instacracker, all you backstabbing, fag hating uncle tom ministers: you can see Dear Leader in action.  America’s largest port is gone, maybe forever.  Gas is $5+ a gallon and FEMA is supposedly coming.  Whores come faster with old men than FEMA is getting to NOLA.

How did your wartime President react?  Like Chiang Kai-Shek when the Yellow River flooded in 1944, with corrupt indifference.

Bush, the man your fever dreams built into the next Winston Churchill when he is really the live action Chauncey Gardiner, has failed everyone, in plain sight, without question.  Rick Perry is trying to save his ass, but it ain’t working.  NOLA looks like ANGOLA, and that ain’t flying.

Say “9/11 changed everything” now, motherfuckers.  Hmmm, “9/11”, “9/11”. “9/11”.  Ooops.  Doesn’t work anymore?  Gee, maybe the sea of alligator MRE’s once known as the citizens of New Orleans has something to do with that.  Now you can shut the fuck up about 9/11.  Bush just proved what would happen with another 9/11.  Dead Americans as far as the nose can smell.

Drunken Chris Hitchens muttered some nonsense about blacks having it so good here.  The poor man needs to stay in his bottle or go to Betty Ford before someone beats his treasonous ass stupid.  Islamofascism means what, now motherfucker?  Shove Islamofascism up your well travelled ass.  The most dangerous thing to average Americans is not some mullah in Iraq, not even Osama Bin Laden, but George Bush.  If he doesn’t get you killed in Iraq, he’ll fuck up saving your city so it turns into Escape from New Orleans.  Armed junkies roaming the streets, looking for a fix, robbing and looting like Serb paramilitaries and about as sober.

George Bush’s ineptitude has killed far more Americans than Osama could have dreamed of.

Some of you still try to see the clothes on the Dauphin, but he’s as naked as Peter North around Jenna Jameson.  Bush fucked up so bad, FOX turned on him like a rabid dog.

You can’t hide behind racism forever.  Bush fucked up.  Bush is a weak, callous leader and the world knows this like it knows few other things.  And all the stolen TV’s in the world cannot hide that.

Grover Norquist, conservative activist, close Bush ally, and world-class wanker once famously said, “My goal is to cut government in half in twenty-five years, to get it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.” Fortunately for us, he and his ideological allies never quite reached their goal, but unfortunately for them (and most distressingly unfortunate for the victims of Katrina), they got close enough that their depraved, social Darwinist, every-man-for-himself political philosophy may well drown in the flooded remains of a devastated American city.

I previously said that I’ve not much inclination toward trying to lay the responsibility for the levee breaches solely at Bush’s feet, if for no other reason than I just don’t feel confident that I have all the information to determine that one way or another. However, the responsibility for the catastrophically abysmal response to this tragedy I feel quite confident about aiming solidly in his direction, not only because of his practical response, which, as widely discussed, has been nothing short of atrocious, but also because of the closely held beliefs about the role of government that have made this situation infinitely worse than it needed to be. As Rob Salkowitz notes:

It’s moments like this when you need a party in power that actually believes in the affirmative power of government to help its citizens, rather than the party that sees government’s role as protecting the property of the well-off from the predations of the underclass. It’s when the true ugly soul of American conservatism is borne out for what it is: a rationalization of selfishness and the hysterical denial of community. America is about to see what happens when the government is staffed by people appointed to their jobs precisely for their disdain for the whole notion of policy in the public interest. It won’t be pretty.

Damn straight. Take a look at the international analysis of what’s happening in America right now–the entire world is appalled, watching the richest country in the world let its people die of thirst, and yet that is the inevitable result of a ruling party who feels little obligation to its citizens. I once wrote: “The Conservative view ultimately benefits a very small minority; the Liberal view benefits us all.” Never has that been more glaringly apparent than in the aftermath of Katrina, as those for whom Bush and his ilk have the greatest contempt turn to their government for help in a time of crisis as the whole world watches, and their government offers not compassion but blame. I think the administration will quickly find that abstract endorsements of personal responsibility which elicited such fervent applause from hand-picked campaign crowds won’t be met with quite the same reception when offered in lieu of the practical solutions now required. If the chance to so easily identify with those quite literally left stranded by the callousness of conservative philosophy doesn’t finally reveal its utter folly to a majority, I don’t believe anything ever will. As Matthew Yglesias said today, “They say there are no atheists in foxholes. Similarly, there are no libertarians in the aftermath of a giant, city-wide flood.”

The news yesterday stirred in me equal feelings of desperate concern for the people hit hardest by this near-inconceivable disaster and blinding anger toward the people responsible for their continued suffering. The two feelings crashed headlong into each other as I listened to a woman on NPR, sobbing, pleading with Bush to help them. She said children and women are being raped, many are in dire need of medical care, and people are starving and dying of thirst. “Please, President Bush, please send someone to save us.” I just completely broke down. It was the final straw, listening to someone beg for help from someone who was out playing golf while she was fighting for her life.

There are those now calling for Bush’s impeachment. Fuck impeachment. The whole lot of them–every last conservative ideologue who has advocated “starving the beast,” every last one of those selfish, soulless, anti-American bastards–ought to be rounded up and sent to the Superdome to live in the river of shit and piss until every single refugee has been provided safe sanctuary and a warm meal. Then Bush and his gang of cretins can clean up the trail of scattered corpses. Let the blood that belongs on their hands be a literal lesson for these pitiless pieces of human refuse. It??’s long overdue.

(Thanks to Toast for the pointer to Rob Salkowitz.)

~ Shakespeare’s Sister