Why is this not funny?!

    Some British organization known as Laughlab is trying to compile the world’s funniest jokes. That’s all fine and dandy, but in some horrible administrative cockup they apparently never got the memo explaining what “funny” means. How can they pick a “funniest joke in the world” when the punchline doesn’t even elicit a smile?!
    Don’t take my word for it. Here are some examples. As of last year, this joke was the front-runner.

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.”
    Watson says, “I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
    Holmes replied: “Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!”

    Now I know you’ll need to catch your breath, so please use this sentence to prepare yourself for what has been determined to be the world’s funniest joke. Funniest. As in funny. Fun-nee.

    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
    The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: &$8220;My friend is dead! What can I do?”    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
    There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

    Whew! Wow! Please, no more! Oh my sides ache. I think I broke a rib. Oh that was good. Didn’t see that punchline coming at all. That was a good one. Man! Oh all right, I’m being sarcastic; but seriously, that’s not even the funniest joke I’ve heard since I started typing this entry.
    Besides, everybody knows this is the funniest joke in the world:

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

    Now that‘s funny.