Computer Woes

    I tried to be a nice guy today and go to my Aunt and Uncle’s house to help fix a computer problem. They’re unable to open any links within Outlook Express. Since the cursor turns into a hand when Outlook Express locks up, they’ve given the problem the evocative name of “The Frozen Hand”. This reminds me of the cheesy titles they used to have on WJR’s mystery radio theater.

HELEN: Charles! Over there, in that darkened corner of this musty old library on the ground floor of the once proud but neglected mansion willed to me by my great-grandmother. Do you see it?
CHARLES: Yes, Helen. It’s…it’s as I feared. Although his body is partially obscured by that faded Queen Anne chair, it must surely be Christian Montaigne — his stiff arms raised, his hands clenched into fists.
HELEN: It looks as if he were still trying to show off his fabled athletic prowess in the ring.
CHARLES: More likely he was trying to ward off some hideous attacker, and this final pose is just a sad irony. But there, Helen! Do you see the light blotches upon his face. There, imprinted upon his very flesh — it is the mark of…The Frozen Hand!
(organ chord)

    Anyway, when I got home I discovered I had my own computer problem waiting…
    I’d left Elmer on (I’ve suddenly decided to name my computer Elmer), but when I came home he was locked up in mid-boot. Apparently our area had had a brief and unexplained power outage, and Elmer had tried to restart itself when the power came back on. It was stuck now, and when I tried a manual reboot it stuck in the same place.
    It was in this way I discovered Windows XP has a safe mode after all, although this is kept secret for some reason. (Probably the same reason Microsoft denies the existence of the “Blue Screen of Death” [a monster more infuriating than scary; one of less successful of WJR’s Mystery Theater radio plays — when they were trying to lure in a more youthful audience].)
    You can get to safe mode by either gorping up your computer (the hard way) or hitting F8 during startup (the easy way). There’s also a nice way you can add Safe Mode to your boot menu, if you follow these instructions.
    By the way, I was able to boot into my computer. I’m not sure if it was because I used System Restore (while in safe mode) or simply because I shutdown and unplugged my computer for a bit before attempting another restart.