The Smoking Gun

Posted on January 7 2003 by Mickey
    As this article points out, there was a time when few people believed you could sue tobacco companies, until documents were discovered that discussed the addictive properties of nicotine. Now we’ve come to the next step: suing the fast food industry. But what’s the smoking gun here? Super-sizing!
Posted in Food, Links, News | Leave a comment

The End is Near

Posted on January 6 2003 by Mickey
    …and I knew these pants would make it look big.
    I just saw this cheery quote in an Associated Press story about middle-aged fat people. “‘This [Dutch research] study is saying that if you are overweight by your mid-30s to mid-40s, even if you lose some weight later on, you still carry a higher risk of dying,’ said Dr. Serge Jabbour, director of the weight-loss clinic at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia. ‘The message is that you have to work early on your weight. If you wait a long time, the damage may have been done.’”
    So I’m doomed. And the only appropriate thing left is to click this button:
Posted in Food, News | Leave a comment

Start the New Year Off Right

Posted on January 3 2003 by Tubby Corchran

Regimen 1: Popcorn Fetch
    Mickey is apparently serious about losing some weight in 2003. Usually I’m only contacted to defibrillate him or — and I’m not proud of this — to help pull him out of his shower stall. So you can guess my shock when he called me up today and actually asked me to develop an exercise regimen he can follow. Maybe you have made a similar New Year’s resolution, so maybe these exercises might be of use for you too.
    We’ve decided to start small, with this simple displacement exercise. I’m beginning to break Mickey out of his sedentary lifestyle by moving his usual bowl of popcorn across the room from him. He will get a much needed workout getting up and down and walking across the room (B). This routine is good for his arms and legs, especially the knees. And the popcorn serves as a little reward, since it’s well known the best way to keep going is to put an incentive in front of yourself. It’s the whole carrot and donkey syndrome — except that Mickey (A) hates carrots.
    I hope this exercise works for you too. I’ll probably be checking back in with some other exercises once I think of them.
    P.S. Mickey wanted to write something today, but he’s a little winded. He did mention something about saluting J.R.R. Tolkien on his Eleventy-First birthday.
Posted in Food, Personal | 1 Comment

Today in Food (2003/01/03)

Posted on January 3 2003 by Mickey
    It was a big news day today. Just like last year, Men’s Fitness reports Houston as the country’s fattest city. (Here’s the story as reported in the Houston Chronicle.) Second is Chicago, with Detroit once again coming in at number three.
    Meanwhile, a local scientist is claiming fatness may be caused by a virus! That may be a lot to digest, so why not buy some snacks, in this enjoyable Flash game.
Posted in Food, Links | Leave a comment

January 2 2003

Posted on January 2 2003 by Mickey
    Another year starts, and with it comes the desire for change. It’s a cliché to say I’d like to lose weight as my New Year’s resolution, but it’s true. At the risk of alienating my massive fan base (and that mass does not come from its great number, I can tell you), I made myself much too blobbish last year — and I fear this very site is too blame. Honestly, ever since I started listing the fast foods I have for lunch [in a since-removed pBlock], I’ve actually found myself using the drive-thru more often. I don’t know if that means a radical “rethink” of the site (or maybe more emphasis on my other domains). Only time, as they say, can tell.
    In war news, aid workers are reporting Nerdy Redhead.net is no longer accepting comments, in compliance with UN imposed sanctions.
Posted in Blog, Food, Personal | 1 Comment

Happy New Year!

Posted on December 31 2002 by Mickey
Posted in Blog, Personal | 1 Comment

On Vacation

Posted on December 30 2002 by Mickey
    It’s not that I don’t want to update this page, it’s that I just have nothing much to say.
    Yes, we’re near the end of the Holiday Eating season, but still in the middle of its biggest week. Everything is going nicely — too nicely in fact, since I’m surrounded by rich leftovers and sweet desserts. (Those cloning idiots have nothing on me! I duplicated myself the natural way: by doubling my body mass!)
    I’ve piled on so many pounds I can barely leave my chair. I feel like the prize turkey in Dickens’s Christmas Carol: “He never could have stood upon his legs, that bird. He would have snapped ’em short off in a minute, like sticks of sealing wax.” In fact, it appears others have noticed this weakness in my cracking, arthritic knees and are trying to take an advantage of it. I spotted this image in the message board of some rival website, where it appears some kind of attack is imminent! I’d send over inspectors, but actually I can just browse the site from here.   [1:59 PM]
    Update: I guess the opening salvos have already begun. I’ve received nine e-mail viruses already today. True, they could be from idiots trying out their new and unprotected Christmas computers, but I’m betting it was all her. My Norton AntiVirus nipped those viruses in the bud, so obviously she’s underestimating me. Nice try, Redhead; better luck next time.
Posted in Blog, Food, Personal | 2 Comments

Best of 2002

Posted on December 28 2002 by Mickey
    I can’t believe how quickly the holiday week has flown by. I’ve had an uncommon amount of days off this week, so much that I seem to have gotten lost in them. The days have flitted by so fast I can barely register what day it is. The calendar says it’s Saturday, and it doesn’t help that it feels like Monday for some reason (I’m not sure why it does, either, since for instance I’m not at work). We’re near the end of the year though, I’m certain, so, like all major publications it’s time to waste space on a list of the Best of 2002. Here are some of the short fat highlights I remember:
  • January 29: Taco Bell launches the steak quesadilla.
  • February 3: Mike hosts Super Bowl party with plenty of snacks and appetizers.
  • June 18: Taco Bell’s Border Bowl line is unveiled.
  • August 2: KFC celebrates 50th birthday.
  • September 1: A big steak cookout for Labor Day.
  • September 5: New Cheese Extreme Quesadilla sold at Taco Bell.
  • December 24: Had a really tasty chicken parmigiana meal at Olive Garden.
  • December 25: Christmas dinner was really very good this year.
Posted in Food, News, Personal | Leave a comment

An SFG Christmas, Pt 2

Posted on December 25 2002 by Mickey
    I read somewhere that a white Christmas is a sign of prosperity for the New Year. It seemed forebodingly familiar that Christmas looked like it would most certainly not be white, since the snows had been washed away and the forecasts were for temperatures above freezing.
    But what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a steady snowfall starting around 11 PM on Christmas Eve and lasting through much of Christmas Day itself!

Posted in Personal | Leave a comment

An SFG Christmas

Posted on December 24 2002 by Mickey
   The place has been decorated; the lights have been hung, taken down, repaired, and then hung up again; and, in typical fashion, the rain washed away all the Thanksgiving snow. It’s Christmas in Michigan! Well, it usually rains on Christmas in Michigan, so I guess we’re doing better than usual, with it just being cold and dry.
    I have all the nail-biting drama of a small Christmas TV-movie in the works. All my presents have been bought, but one has yet to arrive. Today is the last day it can show up, so I’m wondering if some Christmas magic will give me that “Festivus miracle” I’m hoping for, or if I’ll just be handing my mom an IOU tomorrow.
    We shall see…
    P.S. Here’s the latest E-mail of the Week, from sexmachi@hotmail.com: “Christmas anal defloration for mr Mickey”! Aw, guys, you shouldn’t have.
    Update: I’ve been so distracted by work that I completely forgot to change my blog colors for the new season. I was busy doing this today when the UPS person came by and dropped off my last present. Yes, SFG, there is a Santa Claus.
    Just have to wrap the gift, get dressed up and go to church, and then, that most pleasant of activities, the celebration of Christmas…
Posted in Blog, Personal | 3 Comments